Things the characters are not allowed to do at Walmart
by Snoopcatt
Summary: Title says it all. Sebby in a mini skirt? Claude with Tinky Winky lingerie? Grell likes to hump himself! The Black Butler characters go crazy in Walmart!
1. Sebby in mini skirt

**Things the Kuroshitsujji characters are not allowed to do at Walmart. I really just got a list off the internet and used it. I just wrote the short stories, that's it. Don't flame me.**

**1. The characters are not allowed to hold indoor cart races.**

"Everyone ready?" yelled Lau.

"Ready!" yelled teams SebaCiel, Clauis, and Grelliam.

"ONE, TWO, THREE GO!"

The three teams set out at breakneck speed. Lau was narrating the whole thing.

"Oh, there goes Claude and Alois diving headfirst into the bikinis! My, where are Sebastian and Ciel going? Earl Grey tea?! No no, Grell, the cereal is for eating not for faceplanting!"

**2. Sebastian is not allowed to take women's clothing and walk to the fitting room**

Sebastian picked up a pink mini skirt and a green sports bra. He walked to the fitting room, also passing by Ciel.

"Sebastian?" asked Ciel.

"Yes, my lord?" said Sebastian.

"What are you doing?"

"Why, i am merely going to go try on these clothes, of course!"

Ciel stared at Sebastian for a long time.

**3. Alois is not allowed to ask if there is any lingerie with "Tinky Winky" on them**

"Uh, excuse me," said Alois.

"Oh! How may I help you," said the cheerful employee.

"Do you have any lingerie with Tinky Winky on them?" asked Alois.

"Uh- is it for your father?" asked the employee.

Claude turnd a violent shade of red.

**4. Grell is not allowed to use the intercom for inappropriate reasons**

Grell hid behind a clothing rack as he watched the employee leave the intercom. Grell crept to the intercom.

Then, "Sebas-chan! Will you marry me!?"

"Go hump yourself!" yelled Sebastian to Grell.

"See, everyone!? Sebas-chan likes to hump himself, too! We're the perfect couple!"

"I DO NOT LIKE TO HUMP MYSELF."

**5. Ciel is not allowed to hurl items over the neighboring aisles onto Claude**

Claude was walking along the aisle, fantasizing about Ciel when a bike appeared out of nowhere and conked him on the head. Being a demon, it didn't hurt Claude or startle him much. Claude continued walking down the aisle. Suddenly, a huge 80 inch flat screen TV knocked him flat.

"Ow," Claude muttered.

Then, a shoe, along with a shopping cart and a treadmill came down. **(Don't ask me how Ciel can throw that shit.)**

"Ow! Stop! Whoever is doing that!"

An 80 lb sofa came down upon Claude.

"STOP! Or I will eat yo sooouuulllll."

A couple bottles of wine came raining down.

"STAHP!"

Patio chairs and a motorcycle twirled down.

"STAHP! OW! I WILL FIND YOU! AND KILL YOU! AND RIP YO BALLS OFF!"

**Okay.. so that's the first chapter. Give me ideas people. Review! Or else Sebby gets crushed by motorcycle too!**


	2. Mannequins

**6. Alois is not allowed to play with the automatic doors**

"OUCH!" Alois yelled as the door smashed into him. Then, he stepped out of the way and waited for people to go in. The doors slowly began to close and Alois smashed right into the doors. "YIPPEE! OUCH! YAY!"

**7. Timber, Canterbury, and Thompson are not allowed to put women's panties on their heads and walk around the store**

People stared in shock at three twins were walking around casually. With pink lace panties on their heads. Suddenly, the one on the right struck a pose that looked... awkward. Followed with the triplet on the left tap dancing.

**8. Ciel is not allowed to memorize "Ice Ice Baby" and recite it over and over again**

"Ice Ice Baby Vanilla!" screeched Ciel.

"Excuse me, sir? Can you please stop?" asked an employee with the nametag John.

"ICE ICE BABY VANILLA!"

"Please stop or else I will have to call a manager."

"Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis!" yelled Ciel.

"OUT! GET OUT!" exclaimed John the employee.

**9. Sebastian is not allowed to hold conversations with mannequins**

"Hello," smiled Sebastian, shaking the dummy's hand. Bewildered passerby stared and wondered if the man was crazy.

"You know, so recently I realized that carrots are orange."

...

"Did you know that carrots are orange?" said Sebastian to the dummy.

...

"Cucumbers are green!" exclaimed Sebastian happily.

...

"I also LOVE pancakes! You know, with all the syrup and heavenly goodness!" **(that was weird)**

...

"Do you like pancakes?"

**10. Grell is not allowed to yell "PENIS!" at nearby people or Will**

An elderly couple were walking along the cat food aisle. Suddenly, Grell jumped out on them, yelling," PENIS!"

"Oh my!" screeched the old lady, whacking Grell over and over with her steel topped cane.

"Ow! Ow!" yelled Grell.

"Grell Sutcliffe, you are to be placed under probation for yelling 'penis' at elderly couples-" started William, when he was interrupted with:

"PENIS!"

**Okay so that was the chp 2. Chp 3 isn't up yet it soon wil be, hopefully. Thx for the reviews! IDEAS!**


	3. Christmas Chapter!

WARNING! IF YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS SKIP NUMBER 13

11. Claude is not allowed to shove Ciel into a suitcase and run off

Claude sneered as he crept up on an unsusecting Ciel Phantomhive looking at some Bluetooth speakers. Claude then grabbed a suitcase near a nearby aisle, which, unfortunately was pink.

"HEAVENLY GOODNESS!" roared Claude as he grabbed Ciel and shoved poor Ciel into the suitcase and ran as fast as he could.

**12. Hanna is not allowed to dump Happy Holidays cards on Druitt**

Hanna grabbed a box of Happy Holidays! cards and crept up on Druitt who was admiring some pink, lacy dresses.

"Ah! The pink, ruffly dresses reminds me of the flamingo, which stands on one leg admiring itself in the water!"

_*dump*_

"Oh is that you, my dear flamingo!?" Druitt glomps Hanna.

**13. Will is not allowed to tell little kids that Santa Claus isn't real**

"Santa, this year I wanna getta BMW!" squeaked a little kid who was sitting next to Santa getting his picture taken.

"Stupid child," muttered William under his breath to the kid. "Don't you realize that Santa isn't real?"

"WAAAHHHHHH!"

Ciel frowned. He remembered when he still used to believe in Santa.

_FLASHBACK_

Ciel shot out of bed. Rushing to the huge door, he opened it, without a sound. Because he had told Bard to oil it down. Ciel tip toed across the foyer and across the dining table accidently stepping on a couple forks and knives.

"Ow, ow ow," Ciel whispered "Ow, ow, ouch."

Finally, Ciel reached the huge Christmas tree in the main living room. He saw a shadow and a being illuminated by a candelabra.

"SANTA!" yelled Ciel, tackling 'Santa'.

"Oof!" went 'Santa'.

Ciel looked up to see, SEBASTIAN?

"Er, young master?"

"THERE"S NO SANTA!?" cried Ciel.

"Uh. Bocchan I was um what do you call it? Oh yes, 'night patrol'."

"THERE IS NO SANTA!" scried Ciel. (scream+cry=scrie)

" ^-^"

_NOW_

Ciel rolled his eyes, remembering the embarrassing night.

**14. Alois is not allowed to steal all the wrapping paper**

"OH YAHHH!" yelled Alois as he ran through the aisles grabbing tubes and tubes of wrapping paper.

Customers and employees stared at the blonde boy, screaming and grabbing wrapping paper.

"TAKE THAT, HANNA YOU SLUT!" he yelled, whacking Claude.

"Your highness, I'm no-"

"BE QUIET SLUT!"

"Um…"

"TAKE THAT, TOO!"

"Er…"

**Ok, so the worst possible thing happened. I just got an iPod touch 5 for christmas, 12 hours later, i fall down and the screen shatters. If you readers out there know any repair sites or places, plz PM me and tell me. If any of you know if Apple fixes it or replaces it, plz let me know, too. Thank you.**


End file.
